He was late. I was frustrated. I stewed. Got even more frustrated. He still wasn't home. No text either, explaining. Couldn't he at least text me?! Come on now, what’s so hard about that? I stewed some more. Finally, he got home. And what did I do? Well, have to admit it, I dumped all my stewing out the moment he walked in. On him. With a lot of emotion. It didn't go well.
Ever done that with your spouse or teen?
The very people we love most in the whole wide world
Find out what's happening in Scarsdalewith free, real-time updates from Patch.
don’t always get the best from us.
Sometimes I think; if we just treated our spouses and kids with the least common denominator of respect we show others (people like our trainers, co-workers, neighbor on the train, kid’s teachers) things would go a lot smoother at home.
Find out what's happening in Scarsdalewith free, real-time updates from Patch.
It can be hard to do.
Especially when our timing is off.
It’s worth trying though. Try saving emotionally charged conversations to times when both of you are in a good place. Don’t do it when exhausted, super stressed out, or just home from a long day. It will go better. Much better. Trust me on this one.
So, check in with yourself before you dump out all your stewing on someone you love.
Ask yourself; Am I hungry? Overloaded? Really tired?
And, check in with the person you need to talk to.
Is she really tired? Is he hungry or thirsty? Feeling overloaded? Just home?
If you answer YES to any of those questions, take care of those needs before you tackle the heavy duty conversation. If might feel like it can’t wait, but, really, it can. Sometimes it can feel real good to dump stew on someone. But that usually lasts all of twenty seconds. Truth is, it makes things worse, not better. Trust me on this one too.
Want things to go better when you have something important to talk about with a loved one? Get your timing right.
