Everyone has a price.
A recent study done by the American Institute of CPAs found that 61% of parents pay their kids an allowance and that 54% expect their kids to earn the money. Parents are trying to fulfill a promise:
I promise to teach you how to make good choices about money and work ethic.
Allowance arrangements work so long as you bait the hook properly. You can get almost anyone to do almost anything for the right price.
Real World Practice
Most parents reserve the control; we decide what we want from our kids and how much its worth. On the surface, it sounds like a great way to mimic the “real world,” but only the world of victimhood. When we control everything, we prepare our kids to accept only that which is offered. For me, this arrangement flies in the face of another parenting promise:
I promised to teach you how to think for themselves and to have the courage to do something about it.
Without encouraging a child’s input regarding allowance, we drop the ball big time.
The Right Bait
For you to catch your fish, you’ll need to bait the hook with the right currency. Is it money, screen time, an iPad, or an extended curfew? It’s all of the above and none of the above; the right bait is power. Kids want control which makes the currency of true incentive power; the power of control.
Paying Kids for Good Grades
Harvard economist, Roland Fryer experimented with paying school kids for grades. Fryer found that incentives worked when they were structured around the child. Consider the power-pay to a kid under this structure:
- The child baits her own hook. Money, privileges, gadgets, etc. all work wonders, but not on all kids all the time.
- The child can win.
“We tend to assume that kids (and adults) know how to achieve success. If they don't get there, it's for lack of effort — or talent. Sometimes that's true. But a lot of the time, people are just flying blind.”—John List, Economist at the University of Chicago
- Simple and objective. You either did it or you didn’t—period.
- Child controls results. Kids don’t control grades; teachers do. In Harvard’s experiment, the successful arrangement paid kids to read books, something they could do without intervention.
- Instant gratification. Frequent pay and feedback.
All roads lead to Rome
Fryer’s ultimate outcome was to increase standardized test scores. The most successful plan focused on reading.
"If you pay a kid to read books, their grades go up higher than if you actually pay a kid for grades,” Fryer says. "Isn't that cool?"
Parents, follow Fryer’s lead by identifying an ultimate outcome, aka, a parenting promise. Then find 10 ways in which this lesson or life skill can be learned and practiced. Build the whole allowance arrangement around learning the skill.
Power as Currency
Young kids don’t ask for much, but as they grow they naturally expect more. Whether you’re handing out stickers or cash, it’s up to you to make sure everything focuses on your child and your parenting promises.
Article first published as Bribing Kids - The Currency of Power on Technorati.
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While I would like to see my children embrace algebra for the intrinsic value of learning or the pride of having mastered a difficult subject, it just isn't a realistic expectation without a few vital variables: 1, A teacher who communicates with passion 2, Another immediate benefit to the child that the child can easily recognize and values 3. An environment of students who also want to learn algebra for algebra's sake 4. Parents who consistently demonstrate a zest for learning, working, contributing, without extrinsic benefit, i.e., money, opportunity, ego, social standing, etc. When these and other variables are in place, there will be no need to debate this issue. Thanks again for the great insight and the time you gave to share.
I was in the world of education for decades and one thing I learned straight away was that most kids really are "chips off the old block". Purposeful parents are the key. Folks who have a sort of low-level passion ... about almost everything. They exude curiosity and then they model that purposefulness in their jobs and with their family. It's so easy to connect the dots.
Thanks Aidan, for the great comment.
I abhor the slide into Palovian thinking when it comes to one of life's never-ending joys. You don't condition students. You inspire them. You model for them. You immerse them in the process of discovery and the simple inner satisfaction of working one's way to a solution. Sweet words and simple gestures by a master teacher creates the atmosphere ... and everyone hopes that every child arrives for school loaded with both curiosity and sense of personal responsibility as well.
By all means reward those efforts ... appropriately. A note to the parents has such power. And so does a private conversation or note to a student ... something written that can be read over and over again. Who can ever measure the wallop of a short, encouraging conversation between the teacher and the student? They change lives. Of course, teachers aren't in this alone. And too often, the parents would rather not see their involvement (or lack of) be a part of a child's assessment. Sorry. That's tough reality. These child were born with a certificate of ownership called a birth certificate. It's issued to parents, not the teachers. Parents need to send learning-ready kids to school. I'm not necessarily talking skills here. I'm talking about attitude. I think all kids "know the rules". I do. And I think all kids know when they're being "bought off". That's not learning. Just ask Pavlov's dog.
Perhaps, kids ARE interested in learning and by virtue of their developmental stage they are just curious and focused on learning about themselves right now vs. learning about math. Learning about themselves AND learning about math are important. It's up to the adults that influence kids to help them do both. For some kids, a note or conversation will be plenty and for others it won't. Regardless, the end game here is to meet the kids where THEY are. Thanks again for sharing your thoughts. They make me think - always a good thing.
Learning isn't the accumulation of facts and skills. It's the pursuit that forces us to assess ourselves ... and to come to grips with the talents we have and the talents others have. All children activities ... from the classroom to the Little League field to the dance class to the music recital ... help youngsters gain a healthy sense of self. School is just a bit more concentrated exposure. I applaud you for even broaching this topic. I do. Too many parents have embraced a harried life ... out of choice or by design ... and too often rely on digital assessments of their child's academic performance. They quickly digest that 85% or that B- ... because it's fast-food for parents looking for fast evaluations. But these are children. Hardly sixty whole months old by kindergarten and barely 144 months old by grade eight. We need never to lose sight of that.
I'm a fan of "relax". Never forget your youngster's age. And never let any school performance ever intrude on the bond between a parent and a child. Tend to your chores as parents with all the zip and energy you apply to the rest of your life and you'll raise a very together kid. Thanks for the discussion. I'm sure we could tap-tap for hours on this topic.
Pay kids for good grades?! Can parenting sink any lower?
When you think about people's adult working are they working for sake of working, or a paycheck and hopefully a better paycheck if they work hard and do well. Salespeople get incentives for how much they sell and the commissions can bethe bulk of their income. Real Estate salespeople, Car Salesmen, and major high end Corporations all have a commission scale. Small business owners work on a commission systems, the harder they work and run their business the more they make. I am just highlighting why I think it would work. I am not sure i agree with it, but I can see downstream merit in it.
It's often difficult to actually remove this reward if the child falls short. And what's the message if the reward is given despite a less than agreed upon performance? Not good. Last, I wouldn't do this as a grandparent. First, I'd be damn sure I was on the same page with the parents ... and not going off without their knowledge. Second, if the child falls short and the grandparent yanks the reward, how's that healthy for the relationship? I think you're inviting a Catch-22 for yourself. But it's the child who gets caught in the mess as well.