Stay-at-Home Dad: Movie Days

Sometimes even the relaxing days are just too redundant themselves.

I recently mustered enough energy to join Procrastinators Anonymous.  After finally getting to a meeting, I realized that I was the only one there.

At home, my body has become tuned to the sounds of the garbage truck being 100 yards in any direction. I always find myself running to empty my recycling bins at the last possible moment, while wearing whatever I may or may not have on. 

I start every week full of energy, but even us stay-at-home dads have a hump day.

On Wednesday afternoon things really turn to an uphill battle. The laundry that I did on Monday is finished, except that it is still in the basket waiting to be put away. Nothing like sorting laundry for four people.

So lets put things off a little longer.   

I am between Netflix mail days, and have pretty much caught up on my TiVo, so today is going to be movie day! 

Movies on a budget can be challenging. 

The kids are in school till 4 p.m. or so, so maybe even a double feature is achievable.

I like to pack my own lunch, nothing too smelly, although most theaters on Wednesday afternoon are empty. Empty, except for the guy who comes in 1 minute after the film begins and sits directly behind me. 

I notice he starts tapping his foot like a senator in an airport bathroom, so I slide over a few seats. 

I like to pick contrasting films so they each stand alone in my mind.

Unfortunately, today's double feature seems to have become intertwined in my memory. 

I see UP and Up in the Air.

Both have older men schlepping around in an aircraft with a young wide-eyed innocent. Both male protagonists are trying to capture a part of their life that has eluded them. 

Geez, both these films are about me, how depressing.

Since I'm at City Center, I'll just head downstairs to my next destination, Target.   

For us procrastinators, Target is awesome. Rows and rows of stuff you don't really need. I aimlessly roam the aisles and get my blood pressure checked. It's pretty low, as how stressful can life be, I just saw two movies in the middle of a weekday afternoon. 

My favorite part of Target is the area with the closeout items.  If this was Toy Story, and things came to life after the store closed, this stuff would be made fun of by everything else in the store. 

Once again, this stuff is about me, how depressing.  

I pass by the Barnes and Nobles on my way out, but I need to hurry back.

I don't even like this particular bookstore, as my youngest son was once shushed for reading too loudly. When did the bookstore become the library?  Maybe I have enough time to swing by the Scarsdale library on my way home.   

As I enter, there is a scene at the checkout. Some crazy stressed out stay-at-home mom is defiantly arguing with the librarian about taking her books out of the basket to be rung up. Meanwhile, her kids are carrying on like rabid monkeys.  C'mon people, this actually IS the library!  

Maybe she needs a movie day.  

I decide to just head back home, as this laundry ain't gonna sort itself…

Jack Miller, local humorist and architect, writes a weekly Friday column, "Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Dad" that features his observations on life in Scarsdale, the realities of the recession, and general musings from behind the apron strings as a new-to-homemaking dad.


Roger Caro February 16, 2010 at 07:08 PM
Hey Jack, I really loved reading your columns. Very, very funny and clever. Great seeing you and Diana the other night in Port Chester. Roger Caro


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